I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.