I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.