Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!