I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year