Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives