Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.