i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
