Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Found the puke drawer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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