Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
