Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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