It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
