I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dick very happy bro
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
