found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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