I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
