I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
