I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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