i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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