I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
