this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
