But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
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The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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