I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
