My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
