he shaved USA in his pubs
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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