we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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