Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
