i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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