I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
