just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
