...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
