Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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