I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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