similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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