weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
