Sry I called you an 8
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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