Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
