Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
