Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
