its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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