best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
