i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
