if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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