We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
