Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
