I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
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The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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