we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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