My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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