I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
