It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
