sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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