so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
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You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
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What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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