So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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