brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
