Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
50% drunk capacity currently
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
