man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
