listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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