If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
