She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
