You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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