Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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