Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize