So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
