I'm so fucking centered right now
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize