I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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