Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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